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Monday, March 3rd, 2003
5:23 pm - New journal!
My new user name is iheartindymedia if anyone cares...
Kill Me.
4:58 pm - I think it is definately time for a new journal!
Yes, yes, yes. I think I would also enjoy a paid account. No more justanothergrrl for me.

I don't know what I'm gonna do about current "friends." I guess I'll add you if you're important to me.

I miss my girlfriend.

I'm dicking off at work.

Why do we fight so much?

Oooh! Game Boy Color!

I'll post the new journal when I get it...

Bye.
Kill Me.
Friday, February 28th, 2003
3:20 pm - The saga continues...
Raven is a truely awesome girlfriend. I love her dearly. I get to see her Tuesday and then who knows when I'll see her again. Wait. Benaroya Hall on the 9th. Seattle Mens Chorus.

I'm getting my license finally. Mom is gonna pay my rent and stuff for 3 months so I can save up and she may just buy me a car. That means more Raven for me! Yay!

I'm going back to my zine soon. I need to get it started. It'll be something good for my portfolio later on too. Blah. Can't wait for school.

What else? I made the mistake of admitting that I have a disease and need help. What the hell was I thinking?! Now I have to go to counceling and what not. Blah. Whatever.

I'm gonna get a rat I think. I need a pet and I love rats. Wish I could have a dog though.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KATYBEAR!!!!!
I know it's tomorrow, but I won't be around. So I hope you have a good one. Even though I'm mean and evil =)


ALSO: FOR ALL YOU BREMERTONIANS AND OTHERS THERE WILL BE A PEACE MARCH AND RALLY TOMORROW AT EVERGREEN STATE PARK. IT'LL BE TONS OF FUN. COME! COME! COME!

current mood: artistic
Kill Me.
Thursday, February 20th, 2003
3:17 pm - WoOt!!!
I am in LOVE with Raven!!!

The end.
Kill Me.
Friday, February 14th, 2003
9:47 am - So many things happen in such a short amount of time.
Happy V-day folks!!!

I have a date with a 16 year old (17 March 3rd) tonight. I like her alot. Jasmine is kreepingme out so I'm gonna have to back off. I'll call her today. I want Raven to be my girlfriend. Woo!

Gonna try to get some money wired to me today. I have $5 in my checking account. Ouch! Thank goodness I get paid next week.

Um... What else? Oh, I apologize to the following people for my attitude:

Katybear
Holly
Claire
Myself

Sorry guys. I've been slightly crazy lately, but I'm better now.

Anyway... HAPPY V-DAY TO ALL!!!

current mood: anxious
Kill Me.
Friday, February 7th, 2003
2:05 pm - One big sigh of a day... so far.
I saw Thug Boy in his yard today. I miss him. He's just too awesome for words.

I'm going to kosen rufu gongyo tonight, then an independent film, then art walk and open mike at Cafe Destino's. Should be fun. If I see Noel tonight it will take every bit of power I have to not KICK HIM IN THE JUNK! I hate him...

Saturday is OK Youth day. I'll spent the hours between 6 and midnight with the homos. Crazy kids!

Sunday I'm supposed to hang out with my girlfriend(?). I think I'd like to have an indoor hang out at my place. Maybe rent some movies, keep the blinds closed, order some chinese. I don't know.

Anywho, I should get back to work i guess. No one call me til after six cuz i forgot my cell at home today. Or call me at work (please!!) 616-8566.

current mood: contemplative
Kill Me.
Tuesday, February 4th, 2003
5:26 pm - Ummm...
...I think I have a girlfriend. Yeah. Now I'm not so sure of how I feel about it. Perhaps it just needs to sink in?

I made a list of things I need to purchase:
1. bathroom scale
2. Xenadrine
3. Pilates/Yoga set
4. a new sweat suit
5. large hard-cover sketch book
6. geek chic clothing (i.e. vintage womens skirt suit)
7. 13 blue stars tattooed to my right forearm

Those are the things that I plan on splurging my next almost non-existent paycheck on. Sounds like fun to me. I was also considering a new wig, but I don't know.

I'm now on a mission to drop about 20 pounds in as little time as possible. I think that explains the first few items on my list. The other stuff is basically a reward for sticking to it. I'm not even sure how much I weigh right now, but 20 pounds sounds good to me.

I think I'm going out with my girlfriend(?) tonight. My crazy little mind is trying very hard to get me to back out of this right now. Maybe it's just nerves. I don't know. Some things came up over the weekend. I met an awesome girl and certain folks are popping up. Crazy.

Anyway, work is almost over. I want the hell out of here. I don't know. I guess that's all.
2 Stab Wounds - Kill Me.
Friday, January 31st, 2003
5:41 pm - Eeeeep!
I'm going on a date on Monday! Jasmine and I are going to see a movie and probably have coffee or something. So it's not the big Seattle plan, but there's still V-day. Golly! I'm so nervous...

current mood: anxious
Kill Me.
Wednesday, January 29th, 2003
11:09 am - Never answer your phone late at night when you're high
I can't get Jasmine off my mind. I haven't called her yet either. I'm too nervous. I don't know what I'd say. Hopefully my check gets deposited on Friday so i can take her out soon. She's so dreamy...

Last night I decided to be nerd. I toked a little and watched Star Trek DS9. Then, sometime just before midnight, my rang. The number was blocked, but I answered it anyway. Big mistake! Thug Boy randomly decided that he was coming over and I was already too far gone to realize that I should have said no. Sadly he's getting sweet on me. Pushing him away didn't work. I don't know what to do about this. He's being all sappy and boyfriend-like. He even stayed the night. I need a new plan cuz if i start going out with Jasmine he's gotta disappear. Jeeze! What did I get myself into?!

Anywho, I just found out that I won'tget paid unless I fillout a new W-4 form and take it to Admin today. Guess I better go get Ash and figure that mess out. Work is so retarded sometimes.

Frank died 2 years ago today. Asshole! I should spend some time with Nina tonightor at least call her. This is just one of the many reasons why I hate January.

I LOVE YOU FRANK!!! R.I.P.....

current mood: complacent
1 Stab Wound - Kill Me.
Tuesday, January 28th, 2003
2:18 pm - To explain previous post...
I've been thinking about Jasmine alot lately. Remember her? The girl I had a brief, but blissful romance with. I randomly quit talking to her after our first kiss and i don't know why. So a couple of weeks ago I made this really sappy apology card and kept it with me at all times in case I ran into her. I have been hoping this whole time that by some freakish miracle I could possibly get a second chance with her. So last night I went to an SGI meeting and she showed up! After the meeting was over I went outside for a smoke by myself. I was feeling overwhelmed by her presence. Then she came out and seemed like she wanted to talk to me. I gave her the card and she started reading it, but then a couple of my friends showed up and she went back inside. I was finally able to get everyone that was outside to go inside and I was alone again. I knelt down with my cigarette and then stood up and leaned against the side of the door. She came back out again and said she wanted to ask me something and I was like Oh here we go, time to get shot down. Instead, she said that she still really likes me and wanted to know if we could go out sometime!!! I am so excited!!! She is just the most amazing girl and I am so lucky to get another chance with her. No way can I screw it up. I'd really like to be able to call her my girlfriend eventually. I'm planning a day/evening in Seattle as our first date. I figure we'll get some food, catch a film, and walk around Pike Place and talk and stuff. Per haps catch the ferry back with the sunset. You know, sappy stuff. Hand holding, kissing, cuddling... Everytime I look at her I just want to throw my arms around her and never let go. I can't stop smiling. She makes me so crazy. *sigh* Jasmine...

current mood: loved
4 Stab Wounds - Kill Me.
Wednesday, January 22nd, 2003
10:03 am - Lord!
I'm such a NERD! I'll explain later. Must go to work. Just know that soon I will make a fool of myself with someone from the past and probably get shot way, way, way down...

current mood: crazy
Kill Me.
Saturday, January 18th, 2003
11:35 am - Time flies when your looking after West Park brats...
The whole job issue is just pissing me off! I never signed up to run a low income community center. I just wanted to provide volunteer opportunities to ALL youth. It's not that I don't like what I do, I just liked it better before. Oh well, I'm getting paid.

The whole Thug Boy thing is done... I hope. I think I may have pushed him away for good. I haven't spoken to him in 2 weeks and I don't really plan on it. I hope he doesn't call me cuz then I would feel bad and it would start all over again. Boys suck!

I cut my hair again. Yup, cute little dyke cut with angled sideburns. I love it! Those folks at Super Cuts really know how to make a girl happy. I look better with short hair. The curls just piss me off.

Everything seems to be going well. This month is gonna be a doozy though. I'm super busy with work and it's another one of those times filled with sad memories. Frank's b-day is tomorrow and he's not around to celebrate it. The anniversary of his death is coming up too, and I know i will cry alot. Along with that are many other sad January memories that I wish i could just forget. I hate January.

Anyway, I'm alive and well and currently single again, but happy all the same. Life is a rollercoaster. I hate those things, but sometimes they can be fun.

Oh yeah, Richelle called me. She wants to hang out. As much as I would love to punch her in the gut, I just adore her way too much. Don't you love it when the people you want to hate end up being super sweet.

current mood: busy
Kill Me.
Thursday, January 2nd, 2003
8:53 am - Happy New Year!!!!!
Another year has passed and the world is still shit. It’s the year two thousand and fuckin’ three!!! I had a great time though. Jazza throws a good party. Bobby made Apple Jacks for everyone. There was punch, 151, random other stuff, Mike’s Hard lemonade, and I had bought 3 bottles of Manichewitz Concord Grape Wine. It was beautiful. Drinkin’, smokin’, and good friends. No better way to ring in the new year.

Yesterday I went out to eat with Gonzi, then we got beer and went to the apartment. We watched Gold Member and Spawn with Mark and Lyndsay. It was cool. Spawn is a good movie.

Thug Boy came over last night. He brought me more VHS. He brought me Scarface last time and this time it was Speed. Good stuff. We watched the first part of Scarface… sort of. Heh heh. He’s so freakin’ cute! I absolutely adore him. I think he’s getting’ sweet on me. Interesting. How will this play out? Guess I’ll have to play and find out.

Time to work I guess. I have to pack up my desk and help pack the rest of the office for our BIG move. I don’t wanna go, but I guess it’ll be good. Ok, I’m going.

current mood: content
Kill Me.
8:53 am - Happy New Year!!!!!
Another year has passed and the world is still shit. It’s the year two thousand and fuckin’ three!!! I had a great time though. Jazza throws a good party. Bobby made Apple Jacks for everyone. There was punch, 151, random other stuff, Mike’s Hard lemonade, and I had bought 3 bottles of Manichewitz Concord Grape Wine. It was beautiful. Drinkin’, smokin’, and good friends. No better way to ring in the new year.

Yesterday I went out to eat with Gonzi, then we got beer and went to the apartment. We watched Gold Member and Spawn with Mark and Lyndsay. It was cool. Spawn is a good movie.

Thug Boy came over last night. He brought me more VHS. He brought me Scarface last time and this time it was Speed. Good stuff. We watched the first part of Scarface… sort of. Heh heh. He’s so freakin’ cute! I absolutely adore him. I think he’s getting’ sweet on me. Interesting. How will this play out? Guess I’ll have to play and find out.

Time to work I guess. I have to pack up my desk and help pack the rest of the office for our BIG move. I don’t wanna go, but I guess it’ll be good. Ok, I’m going.

current mood: content
Kill Me.
Tuesday, December 31st, 2002
11:28 am - Ha! Ha! That's beautiful!
your%20ideal%20mate%20is%20Gollum...%3F!
Who is your Ideal Lord of the Rings (male) Mate?

brought to you by Quizilla

current mood: bouncy
Kill Me.
Friday, December 27th, 2002
4:03 pm - Damn people!
Remember the time a million people called to hang out with me this weekend? Yeah, that was last night... after freakin' midnight! What the hell?! And if Tranny Boi tells me that "I kinda miss you" bullshit one more time I'm gonna scream and then stab myself in the eye with a plastic spoon. I'm sick and in a foul mood. I just wanna hate everyone right now. I'm leaving work early dammit! Right.................... now!

current mood: bitchy
Kill Me.
Thursday, December 26th, 2002
9:02 am - Merry fucking X-mas... a day later.
So I really fucking hate x-mas. Especially after last year's holiday greatness. I had a damn good time this year though...

I slept in cuz I was in a pissy mood about waking up to x-mas all alone. Blah. Then I finally got my ass up and ready and as soon as I was done my beloved sister Angel called and said she was in town. So I walked in the freezing cold to her grandparents house. She was pretty drunk by the time I got there. My nephew, River, is just getting so big... and handsome too! I got to see the whole family (almost). Maggie came with John and brought Amaya and the new baby Taliah, but she couldn't bring Diva cuz her dad wanted her. Angel's dad drunkenly gave me $14 in ones. Hey, cigarettes for me. I had a good time, then Angel and Travis dropped me home.

An hour after I got home Gonzi picked me up for his big x-mas party. Everyone was there (almost). Me and Gonzi had to run all over B-town looking for eggnog to go with the rum. We never found any, but Andrea showed up with some later. We all drank and smoked and had a really great time. Stacy took me home sometime after 1am.

I don't think I've written anything about seeing Michelle. Damn, she really needs to move back here. She's a major hottie!!! I think I went to her house the day before x-mas eve. Me, Nina, and Reese stole Nina's mom's car and took a joy ride to south Tacoma. It was a crazy night.

This is getting to be too much writing for my hung over head. I don't even want to go into the mid-night mass thing. jeebus! I need to work now. Or go home. Goodbye

HAPPY LATE DECEMBER!!!!!

current mood: groggy
Kill Me.
Monday, December 23rd, 2002
4:19 pm - I can have fun with myself!
Gonzi came over last night with 3 bottles. Vodka, Tequila, and orange juice. Mixed together it's not bad. I drank two glasses. The equivelent of 3 shots each. Then Gonzi had to leave and I was drunk all by myself. I felt this urgent need to listen to the Misfits, then I started dancing crazily. It was so, so, so much fun. It reminded me of parties with my brothers, just without all the people. Then I tried masturbating. Then I went to the bathroom and fell asleep on the toilet for about an hour. The I realized I felt sick because I hadn't eaten all day. Alcohol + empty stomache = bad news. I finally got up and got my bed out and went to sleep. Went to work late this morning cuz I was slightly hung over. Good times. Good times indeed!

current mood: content
Kill Me.
Saturday, December 21st, 2002
10:25 am - Heelys are cool... right?
I am a nerd.

I went to the mall last night and purchased a pair of Heelys.

It's harder to do than I thought, but I WILL learn.

I am a nerd.

Remember the time my brother was stabbed three times. That was Wednesday. He's in the hospital for X-mas. Me and some friends got in a huge fight. Stupid girls that can't hit right piss me off! My sides still hurt and my legs are sore and I'm pretty sure we all made our points. Fun stuff. Holly gets to stay longer now.

Anywho, I have to work today. No more weekends for a long time after this. I haven't had a saturday off in like 3 weeks. Yeah, so I'm just waiting for the co-workers to show up. Blah. Stupid girl spending hours painting smelly goop on her face. Oh well, more surfing the net.

current mood: anxious
Kill Me.
Wednesday, December 18th, 2002
9:00 am - Things to do...
1. Find a cheap mini skirt pattern
2. Buy fabric
3. Get an iron
4. Cut my hair
5. Make t-shirts
6. Deposit my check (Yay! Pay day!)

***Intermision***
I lost a contact lens...

7. Make holiday cards
8. Knit cuffs and matching leg warmers
9. Buy cigarettes!
10. And lots, lots, lots more...

My life is really insane.

HAPPY 21ST B-DAY GONZI!!! Hurrah for parties!!!

current mood: busy
Kill Me.
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